Small-town lesbian couple await same-sex court ruling

Shalu and Mehak have their wedding plans ready: from how many people to invite and who to invite to even the colour of the lehengas they would wear on the occasion.

But their plans are on hold for now.

The Supreme Court of India is seized on the issue of legalising same-sex marriage, and the two women living in a small dusty town of Punjab hundreds of miles away from the hallowed portals of the top court are awaiting the verdict with prayers on their lips and a lot of hope.

But irrespective of what the judgment could be, the two – both in their twenties – are emotionally married. Each compliment the other and neither can live without being together.

To be together, they have already had to brave a lot. Their families have turned foes. Taunts and physical assaults have also been routine. But undaunted, the two are still sticking together. Even if meant changing the cities and towns they lived in no less than seven times in the last few years.

Though scarred, they remain determined.

“I will tell everyone that we are not just friends, but girlfriends,” insisted Shalu. “Our sacrifices will not go to waste,” she added. Sitting beside her, Mehak nodded enthusiastically in silent agreement.

The two have sacrificed a lot and endured much already since they first met accidentally in 2018.

How it all began

“I was sitting at the staircase with other friends when Mehak entered her cousin’s home. We two saw each other for the first time then,” Shalu remembered.

Sparks flew instantly. “I could almost hear the violins playing and a cool breeze blowing, just the way it does in Shah Rukh Khan movies,” Shalu said. “A voice in my head kept telling me how cute she was,” she added.

The attraction was mutual. Mehak too was drawn to her. Courtship followed and the two spoke to each other over the phone furtively for hours and well into the night. Soon enough, she ran away from her family of 15 members to be with Shalu.

Both represented ordinary women from small towns but with different biological needs. Shalu was from Punjab and Mehak hailed from Haryana. There was nothing elitist about them, but together they began weaving big dreams for themselves, including rearing a child they could call their own.

Their families though played spoilsport.

“My mother once held me by my hair and banged my head against the wall,” recollected Mehak. The assaults were to become routine over the following months.

In between, Mehak’s family pulled strings to separate them physically.

The day after she first left to be with Shalu in a Punjab town, her parents located the couple with the help of police and arrived to forcibly take her away.

“It was like a scene straight from a Bollywood movie,” Mehak said. “We both were holding onto each other’s hands tightly, while our family were trying to pull us apart.” Mehak’s family succeeded in taking her away.

Once back home, their ordeal multiplied. “I stopped eating. I couldn’t sleep. The only thing I did was to cry,” Shalu recollected. 

All the while, the pressure on Mehak too multiplied. Some accused her partner Shalu from a Dalit community to be a trafficker. And the father slapped her tightly when she voiced her determination to be with Shalu.

Their forced separation made Shalu and Mehak miss each other more desperately. “Although I have been attracted to women before. I always dismissed my feelings, questioning how it could be possible. It was only after meeting Mehak that I realised how stronger my emotions were towards her. How safe I feel with a woman rather than with a man,” explained Shalu. 

A story of hope

A Supreme Court ruling in September 2018 decriminalising homosexuality helped them understand their feelings for each other better. Shalu, for one, went to the internet to research the subject and came across the acronym LGBTQ+ for the first time. She figured that Mehak and herself were lesbians.

They then got in touch with Humsafar Trust – a non-governmental organisation that supports LGBTQ+ causes. They secured the help of advocates to move the Delhi High Court which allowed them to live together.

The judicial intervention has not, however, improved their situation dramatically. Shalu’s father still hopes she will eventually marry a man, while her mother has come up with a creative plan. According to her, the two girls should marry two brothers to stay together under the same roof. Her brother insisted she is disinherited by her father.

The taunts from other relatives are also continuing to fly thick and fast.

“This is what happens when you educate girls,” Mehak’s cousin told her.

“How will she face God without having sex with a man in her life,” Shalu’s aunt chipped in.

Undeterred and undaunted, Shalu and Mehak are living together. “Our families expect us to understand and spend our lives with men. But it is they who need to understand that this is how we are made,” pointed out Shalu.

It is only recently that the two have found jobs. Together, they earn some Rs 25,000 a month. The amount is not much, but it still is a marked improvement on when they had no money and often slept with empty stomachs.

Things though can only get better if the Supreme Court verdict on same-sex marriage is favourable. 

“Our life will become smooth like any heterosexual couple. We would enjoy the same rights as they do. It would be easy to rent a flat or adopt a child. All we want from people is to understand our feelings and not laugh at us,” Shalu said. 

Mehak, as is often the case, nodded in agreement. Both say they think alike and make for a perfect couple.

(Disclaimer: Names of Shalu and Mehak have been changed to protect their identities.)

The lead image at the top shows women LGBT lesbian couple holding hands with pride (Photo by Sanskriti Talwar)

Sanskriti Talwar is an independent journalist who writes about gender, human rights and sustainability. She is Rural Media Fellow 2022 at Youth Hub, Village Square.