Smiley Thabu, a 31-year-old transwoman, who endured bullying and abuse, strives to give children from marginalised communities a boost in life. Read about Thabu’s story – in her own words.
I am a Muslim transwoman and live in Neelankarai village in Kanchipuram district, on the outskirts of Chennai city in Tamil Nadu.
My school years were quite depressing. When I entered the classroom, my classmates used to break into a Tamil song that had transphobic lines because my voice sounded like a girl’s.
I was the class topper. But my performance deteriorated. The bullying at school made me suicidal.
However, it was the continued love and support of my mother – my only parent – that I gave life another chance.
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My mother heard my tirades patiently. She didn’t make me feel that I was a different kid.
She believed education is the only tool against oppression, especially for minority communities like ours. She toiled in many neighbouring houses so that my siblings and I could get educated.
Today I try to empower children, especially those from LGBTQIA+ and marginalised communities.
In my small rented house with a thatched roof, I offer tuition in subjects and spoken English to over 30 children. They are from financially strapped families from nearby villages and slums.
I do flood relief work and organise workshops on gender sensitivity. Transpeople are perceived to be beggars or sex workers. I’ve been working really hard to change that.
In 2019, I registered my organisation, Siragugalai Tharugirom Parandhu Sellungal, which translates as ‘we provide wings, you fly’; we offer skilling programmes for youth and self-defence training for girls.
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I wasn’t always a social worker.
After my studies, I worked in a call centre for Rs 5,000 a month. I faced routine harassment, bullying and even sexual abuse due to my identity.
I used to cry myself to sleep every night.
As I’m a quick learner, I performed so well that within 2-3 years, I was earning really well. Then a multinational company hired me as a senior customer support executive.
In 2016, I went for my long-awaited gender affirmation surgery. When I returned after the surgery, I was shocked to know that I’d been replaced.
My boss told me in a shaky voice that he’d inform me of future openings. I never heard from them again.
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Though the children give me a hard time with their constant chatter and giggles during class, their presence helps me through difficult times.
Recently, I earned my PhD in business administration after completing my postgraduation in English literature. In college, my friends used to mockingly ask if my family had disowned me yet.
I got so lucky with my family. I have a supportive and inspiring mother. I am married to a great man and his family makes me feel like one of their own.
I wonder if that’s enough though.
My physical appearance, dressing style and even the way I walk hold more bearing on my personality than who I really am and what I do.
Every time I catch strangers staring at me, I know exactly what their thoughts about me are.
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Jyoti Thakur is a Delhi-based independent journalist who covers gender, environment and social justice. She was a Rural Media Fellow 2022 at Youth Hub, Village Square.